I left evangelicalism. I actually still go to an evangelical church every Sunday, but I no longer identify with the broader community because of disagreements with how we have been acting and thinking these days.
It has been an unexpected emotional rollercoaster and it keeps on going. As I drifted apart from evangelicalism I experienced possibly the single greatest feeling of loss i ever had. I found myself losing:
- My identity
- My closest relationships
- My foundation
All this got me thinking as I am want to do. Evangelism is very important in Christianity. We invest very significant resources in time and money to tell others about Jesus. Missionaries work hard to convert Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and the like to Christianity. Generally such stories are the highlight of every missionary’s sermon. Often they would share about the cost of following Jesus for those converts. Most importantly there was rejection by family and community. My attitude about this was truthfully very flippant seeing I fortunately had the exact truth and figured that in balance being as wise as me would be well worth the loss of relationship.
But now having felt the inner turmoil of risking the potential displeasure and rejection of family and community, I can not be so flippant.
Of course, I’m not a missionary, and converting the lost is not my full time job. But I do talk to people in a very diverse country in a diverse area of that country. What this does is make me more committed to the idea of talking about Jesus within trusted relationships where I listen to the potential losses that people might experience by following Jesus, leaving behind paternalistic, narcissistic, quick fix and fear based forms of evangelism.
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