Do What is Essential!
Remember that if you don’t prioritize your life someone else will…
Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.
Scripture
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life Or single cubit to your height? Matthew 6:25-27
Story
I have spent most of my life as a NON-essentialist, and I am now trying to change the course of a middle-age life that is entrenched in unhealthy habits. For most of my life I believed two foundation crumbling lies:
Someone else has the right to prioritize my life
I can always add one more thing into my life
I have always been a people pleaser since I was a wee child. I wanted to make my Mommy and Daddy happy. When I grew up, I wanted to make friends happy. Years later I wanted to make my wife happy. In business, I made our customers happy and that made us a lot of money. Desiring to make people happy is certainly not a bad thing… until it is. It becomes a bad thing once pleasing people rules your actions, and prevents you from fulfilling your highest, God-ordained purpose.
I have had a life of stress over my incomplete task list, because I have been terrible at saying the little word, “No.” I have layered tasks and responsibilities on top of tasks and responsibilities. I refused to acknowledge that we all have finite time and energy. Finally, I am now learning to choose where to put my time and energy for the best use of my time.
Lesson
Essentialism teaches that we are finite beings. If we do not choose our priorities intentionally then someone else will choose for us, so we must learn to say no. That allows us to rest and recover. Finally, essentialism takes a lot of discipline and discernment.
Our western culture, and often our personalities, lead us to think we can do it all. But we can not. We can tell ourselves we can handle it, but something will be dropped or done poorly when we overcommit. Many people think they can rest less in order to accomplish more. And in the short term that works, but in the long term, it can rob our mental and physical health so that we accomplish less. The reality is that we need a significant rest. It is better to do a few things well rather than do many things ineffectively.
Many people allow others to set their priorities. Often that’s because of an excessive desire to please or an unwillingness to do the hard work of discerning what is truly the best use of our time. However, when we let others set our priorities we are condemning ourselves to a painful existence trying to keep people happy and disappointing most of them. It is far better to disappoint in the beginning than the end.
In order to rule our own priorities, we must learn to say “No” gracefully but firmly. Saying “No” is somewhere between difficult and horrible, but it becomes easier with practice And a few minutes after saying “No”, your anxiety will fade to freedom and joy. People will be disappointed, but they will also respect you and wish they could be like you. You might say to someone “I really appreciate that you would ask me to work on this project. I am honored. However, I have made a commitment to working at my highest level of contribution, and right now the projects I am already working on will not allow me to help you effectively.” Another helpful tactic is the pause. Taking five seconds to pause and ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time? and Will I walk away regretting a yes?” can help. You can also tell the person you will respond after a specific time. (Don’t say you will think about it. If you know it’s a No, set the No free.)
In the west being sleep deprived is some sort of a masochistic badge of honor. However, the truly wise person realizes that he will accomplish far more, far better by eliminating the non-essential work and being fully rested, fully present and alert for the essential work. This is also an area where technology can rob us by trading sleep for amusements
Adopting essentialism will be a great test of your discipline and discernment. You will spend more time and effort discerning the best use of your time, but you will become better and better at this. Your discipline will grow as you make difficult choices to disappoint people for the greater good and your good health.
Being an essentialist is the most freeing and invigorating life. And I am just a baby essentialist, getting it wrong as often as I get it right. I hope you will become an essentialist at a young age so you can be more effective for your whole life.
Recommended Resources
Book: Essentialism by Greg McKeown,
Book: Margin by Dr. Richard Swenson
Questions
How hard is it for you to say no to other’s requests? How do you feel saying no?
What are the achievements you want to make in the next 5 years? How will you prioritize your life to fulfill that vision?
How can you achieve healthy sleep?
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