Preface
My deconstruction and reconstruction was not instigated at all by LGBTQ issues, but questions about the church in American and its relationship with the LGBTQ community started soon after. I find myself in a difficult spot. There was a time I thought I understood everything and now I don't understand much and, I have way more questions than answers. So here's to way too many questions.
Prayer
Jesus. The LGBTQ issue in America is really difficult. It breaks my heart that so many LGBTQ people don't think of You as loving and think of Christians as hateful. And I understand how Christians got the way we are. To be honest, I think it would have been helpful if the Bible was more clear. I would really like for you to help me be a Christian that helps you bring more wholeness to LGBTQ community.
Introduction
I heard the most shocking opinion ever around 1993 talking to a Christian friend in the Navy. He told me that he would like to gather up all the gays and bring them to a building and collapse the building on them all. Granted that was extreme, but the evangelical church has lost its mind over LGBT issues, ignoring or relegating many other things Jesus talked about. I myself accepted the standard talking points as truth… until I didn’t. Then I started asking hard questions and looking more deeply into LGBT issues, making me question my beliefs.
Christians that Tried to Change
I always thought that people choose to turn against God and then as a consequence choose to live a homosexual life, but now I question this. I have read stories of Christian gay people that grew up in the church and got saved and loved Jesus that desperately tried to change their sexual orientation to no avail. Some have even committed suicide. The largest gay change ministries have folded due to a lack of positive long term results. The Focus on the Family poster child of ex-gay, eventually returned the gay life style. These people are a problem for our theology that trite answers won’t solve. If God creates us for His glory in his image, did he make a mistake with the gays? Or did he make them that way to show his power to heal, but why hasn’t he done so consistently? Did he make them that way so they would grow through suffering? That doesn’t sound very loving. There is just no easy solution for these people that my community has pretended don't exist.
I think it is minimally a time to practice true empathy with Christian Gay young people. I can't imagine the anxiety for young people that find themselves attracted to the same sex growing up in the American church overemphasizing sexual sin over all others. They grow up memorizing bible verses and attending vacation bible school, and hearing that there is no sin worse than being gay. They are caught between their Christianity and their felt nature, the two ripping them apart.
Gay Christians
I always thought that the homosexual lifestyle was inherently promiscuous and in all ways anti-God, but now I question that. I was more than fifty years old before I was confronted by a monogamous gay person that in every other way was a Christian like me, so it was easy to be ignorant of LGBTQ people that claimed to be Christian. My community considers Christian gays as oxymorons, but these people seemed to love Jesus as much I do. I could not make sense of this theologically.
The Scriptures
I always thought that the scriptures were abundantly clear from the plain reading of the text that homosexuality is always a sin in God's eyes, but now I question that. My community presents progressive Christians as people that twist scriptures for their agenda. We present ourselves as the true believers that don't compromise. However, as I have read theology from progressive theologians, they seem genuinely interested in interpreting scripture as faithfully as any conservative theologian. In fact many problems in scripture make more sense from a progressive theological perspective. Additionally, I never thought about the amount of interpretation that occurs with translation, meaning that there is really no such thing as the "plain reading of the Bible" if you are not reading it in the original language.
There are six main scriptures that are referenced when considering gay relationships. Reading them in modern English translations at face value with our cultural biases, they look pretty damning. However, I have read a few gay apologists on these scriptures, and while not fully convinced by every one of their arguments, they have instilled reasonable doubt in me. Reasonable doubt, means I can not, in good conscience condemn my LGBTQ Christian neighbors.
This is not the place to recount the entire theology, but I will offer the point that has most hounded me. Does the Bible speak directly to modern Christian, monogamous gay relationships? John Walton, a theologian, said the the biblical authors can not advise us on issues they were not aware of. Modern monogamous Christian gay relationships were not on the mind of any of the biblical authors, because the homosexuality at the time the Bible was written had no resemblance to Christian monogamous homosexuality today. Homosexuality was primarily pederasty, men having sex with boys. Yuck. This is what would have been in Paul's mind when he wrote Romans. It is very difficult to extrapolate that opinion to today's loving homosexual relationships.
I used to think that there is a distinction between the sin of homosexuality and other sins from Romans 1, but now I question that. One of the most often cited passage is Romans 1:26-32
”Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.“
Romans 1:26-32 NIV
Paul covers a lot of different sins here and in the plain reading of the text they are all worthy of death. I have known plenty of Christians and, two in particular, that were
- Arrogant
- Boastful
- Envious
- Gossipers
Yet they never faced the same condemnation from the church. Where God presents sins as equivalent, we should have the same perspective. It seems that if we exclude people from membership or service opportunities for being gay we should also exclude the arrogant, boastful, envious, and gossipers. This does not show homosexuality as right in God's eyes, but it does speak to how the church should relate to the LGBTQ community. I don't see scripture supporting the churches infatuation with this one sin over all the others.
I have never known a Christian with no sin in their life. We will all die as sinners. If somehow it was proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that being gay is sinful, gays would just be sinners like me. My sins might not be the same as their sins. But we would be the same, people that can't always get it right and need Jesus grace badly.
National Blessing
I used to think that God is more upset at the United States when Christians and non-Christians sin and he will remove his blessings based on the level of sinning, but now I question that. The church likes to see America as a new Israel and as such likes to see itself in some ways part of the Old Testament covenant. One belief that results is that God's blessing on our nation is inversely proportional to the amount of sinning that occurs in it. This leads us to want laws that support morality and decrease sinning. But limiting actions doesn't always prevent sinning. Jesus was pretty clear that sin in the heart was sin, just like sin acted out. If that is the case, laws that prevent sinful actions, may do good but they don't prevent sin unless people's hearts are changed as well. And hearts don't change without Jesus. Additionally, it is difficult for me to make equivalences between ancient Israel and the United States.
Evangelism
I used to think that we need to make sure LGBTQ people know they are sinning so they can be saved, but now I question that. If in fact the LGBTQ people are lost, the church's strategy to reach them is poor. It is commonly understood that most people that convert to Christianity do so because of the influence of a loved and trusted friend. Trust always comes before conversion. The church and its members can never develop trust with the LGBTQ community when they only perceive shame and hate from us. The church has often stated the policy of "Love the sinner, hate the sin." While I understand the intention behind this phrase, it has unintentionally left the LGBTQ felling hated, not loved. This is compounded by the war mentality in the church. The war motif in our worship songs, and our speech has so permeated the church, that most Christians have unknowingly adopted a belligerent us versus them paradigm. However, the New Testament presents warfare as only for spiritual beings not other humans. With warfare embedded in our psyche, we easily turn that anger toward our LGBTQ neighbors. As a result people that need Jesus are pushed further away from Him by the church, and the church fails to do its jobs to disciple people.
Conclusion
My perspective on LGBTQ people changed as I began to listen to those outside my evangelical bubble and started asking inappropriate questions. There are no longer for me any easy answers for Christian gays that desperately want to change their attraction, but can't. When I think about Christian gay kids killing themselves because of the churches stance on homosexuality, I realize the stakes are very high and mindlessly parroting the evangelical talking points has significant risk to others. I must be absolutely sure about my beliefs if they could lead to another's suicide. The scriptures that were so obviously condemning before are more complicated now. And if we want to reach the LGBTQ community with the Love of Jesus, our strategy has failed. I have to rethink my perspective because the issue is just not as simple as many in the American church think.
I'm always interested in you thoughts; please comment below.
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