You Need to Plant a Fruit Tree

Today, after 6 long years we ate the first Paw Paw fruit from our paw paw trees. Back then I ordered 3 each of two premium Paw Paw cultivars. They arrived on my front porch when my oldest was only 11. I carefully dug 6 holes and added compost and dirt... and guarded love. How would I be able to wait so many years before their tiny branches would offer up their yummy fruit?

Cutting into the soft flesh and scooping out the pulp was an awesome experience even before tasting it. In a culture that thinks a long-term plan covers 60 days, I had patiently pruned, fed, protected, and loved the little plants. Now I realize that we all need to plant a fruit tree, literally or metaphorically. 

What are you doing that has a 5 year or more time horizon? What will require long-term faithfulness from you? We live here in a place with microwaved meals, phones that become obsolete in two years, and starter marriages. 

It is not healthy for everything in our lives to have short time horizons. 

So find something that will take you five years or more to do. (It’s actually not a very long time.) Invest your life and energy and hopes into it, and in five years you will be delighted that you did. 

Creating a Budget (Money Issues #3)

I love Jesus. Most of the time I like Jesus. I am learning to love the church again. These are thoughts as I continue my faith journey from deconstruction to reconstruction and beyond…

Creating a Budget

In Living Within your Means, I mentioned using a budget. I discussed a closed loop vs. open loop budget and general parameters. Here I want to dig into the details of how to create such a budget. First, we will discuss overall goals. Then we will consider creating categories/subcategories. Finally, we will look at the implementation.

Budget Goals

Before we create a budget, we need to define the requirements for the budget. Once clearly defined, these will guide us. You must set your own requirements, but here are mine.

• Give 10% to support my place of worship
• Save 10% in an emergency fund until funded, and then invest in long-term investments
• Live on 80% of what I make
• Give additional money to other needs
• Save money toward significant occasional expenses such as car repairs.
• Have enough categories that the budget is effective, but no so many it becomes cumbersome
• Keep wearing the clothes I have from 1980 to save money on clothing. :)

Define your requirements carefully. Many people jump into categories right away, and it takes longer than if they started more intentionally. Sometimes, you could run into requirement conflicts where you can't fulfill all of them at the same time. In those cases, carefully evaluate which requirement has to change. However, it is very unwise the violate the 80% rule. As soon as you get used to living on 100% of what you make, it will be tough to change back, and the 80% rule is the foundation that will empower your entire financial life.

Creating Categories/Subcategories

The next step is to create your categories. The categories I use are:

• Auto
• Christmas
• Entertainment
• Financial
• Food
• Giving
• Health
• House
• Miscellaneous
• Personal
• School
• Sports

A category is useful when you

• Spend a significant amount of money in it
• Need to save money over time for it

I define three types of categories.

• Monthly: Every month you spend a consistent amount
• Regular: On a certain regular schedule you spend a consistent amount
• Occasional: You don't know when or how much, but you will have to spend.

For example, I, like most people, spend a ton of money on housing every month and it is a consistent amount. If you did not budget for that, you would put at risk one of the most essential safety/security items in your life. Season passes to Six Flags has been a regular category for my family. This is a small part of the budget, but I only spend the money once a year, and I want to make sure I have enough saved when the time comes around. Auto repairs also are an excellent example of an occasional category. Most months you will spend nothing on auto repairs, but then out of the blue, something will break. By saving a little every month when you don't need to, you will have enough money when the repairs are needed.

You may use a subcategory if

• A category includes multiple types of categories.
• You want to differentiate the different ways you spend money in that category.

For example, in my Auto category, I have subcategories called fuel, taxes, and repair. Fuel is a monthly expense; taxes are every other year, and repairs happen occasionally. For me, it would be confusing to have all that in a single category. The three items could be their own categories, but by making them subcategories, you can also "roll them up" to see the total spend in the auto category. In the sports category, I have subcategories for each child. Each is a monthly category, but I like to differentiate the expenses.

Here are my categories with their subcategories:

• Auto: Car payment, fuel, insurance, tax, repairs
• Christmas
• Entertainment: Camporama, General, Six Flags, Vacation
• Financial: College savings; Disability, Liability, and Life Insurance and Savings
• Food: Eating out, Farming, Groceries
• Giving: 3 child sponsorships, missionaries, FCA, church, church missions
• Health: Exercise, health insurance, health spending
• House: Repair, Electricity, Internet, Mortgage, Heating Oil, Water Purification
• Miscellaneous
• Personal: Hair, Clothes
• School: Tuition, Books, Odyssey Online
• Sports: Abigail, Lydia, Chelsea

Once you have your categories and subcategories, list them in a spreadsheet (click for a template) or even paper.

Now you need to figure out how much money you make. You need to know your actual pay, your take-home pay, and what is removed from your actual pay to get to your take-home pay. Before you get your check, you may be paying:

• Taxes
• Retirement Investing (401k, 403b, IRA)
• Health Insurance

Next, you need to know how often you are paid (Biweekly, bimonthly, or monthly). This can be a little complicated because most bills are monthly and most paychecks are biweekly. The most straightforward scenario is to be paid monthly or bi-monthly, and everything matches. If you are paid weekly, the best plan is to base your budget on two paychecks per month. You will then have two extra paychecks every year. Use this extra money as additional savings, Christmas money, or maybe heirloom quality furniture.

Tangent alert: Don't buy crappy furniture. Try only to buy furniture that will outlast you. You are better off with few pieces gathered slowly than having to re-buy furniture that wears out every 5-10 years

Now take your monthly pay and distribute it to all the categories until the money in your categories matches your income.

Implementation

If you are like a lot of people, you will get this far but not have the discipline to continue. For the budget to actually help you, you must IMPLEMENT it. The foundation of implementation is asking this one question before spending money: Is there enough money in the appropriate category or do I need to put this off until later? Also, you will need a place to track your spending, and there are MANY options here.

The simplest way is cash in envelopes. After getting paid, take out the cash you intend to spend and put it in specific envelopes labeled for each category. Spend the cash until it is gone and then stop. You will never go over budget. You can transfer money from one envelope to another if you are short in one category and have extra in another. The bonus with this method is that you feel more loss when you pay cash and you naturally spend less. And not every category needs an envelope. You can still pay your utility bill and rent electronically. Use envelopes for categories that vary in amount, and you go somewhere to spend. Categories like food, entertainment, and miscellaneous would fit. The challenge is internet commerce. Buying online cannot be done with cash. A good answer is to take out the full category amount in cash. If you buy something online for $19.50, take a $20 bill and store it away for the next month.

A set of spreadsheets can be all you need. It is straightforward to have one sheet per category and track your spending transaction by transaction. This would be best for a person with a smaller number of transactions.

Lastly, you can use a specialized financial program to track your spending. These include Money, Mint, and Mvelopes. I currently use Mvelopes. This system excels in helping you track category spending in real time. Some systems only let you see at the end of the month how well you stayed on budget. I call this Open Loop. A Closed Loop system like Mvelopes enables you to see exactly how much money remains in each category 24/7. That way you can decide to buy or not based on real facts and not overspend.

Should you be a rare, disciplined person and follow the three steps above you will experience true financial freedom. You may not buy everything you want, but you will know your limits and not suffer the stress of overspending and debt.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Living Within Your Means (Money Issues #2)

No one plans to fail, but many people fail to plan. This proverb is SO true in personal finance. In fact, no amount of money will ensure financial "success." Many people making tons of money have come to financial ruin because they found a way to waste and overspend their considerable resources. It is not as important to make a bunch of money as it is to manage what you make correctly.

Start by living on 80% of what you make. 10% of your income should be invested in assets that will get you through emergencies and provide income when you are not able to earn money yourself. The first investment should be in an emergency fund. You need to sock away 6 months of living expenses in a low risk, liquid asset. A bank CD is a good option. This will be money in case you lose your job, or your company can't pay you. After funding your emergency fund, you should invest in longer-term vehicles like index mutual funds. The next 10% should be charitable giving. If you are part of a Christian Church, your 10% should support it. You should also include in your charitable giving supporting a child through Compassion International or similar organization.

Once you know your 80% you need a CLOSED LOOP budget. Closed loop is a geeky engineering term that says feedback exists. Some people have an OPEN LOOP budget.

1. Decide how you want to spend your money.
2. Track how you spend it
3. Look at the end of the month to see how you did

Others use a CLOSED LOOP budget

1. Decide how to want to spend your money
2. Track how you spend it
3. Using feedback adjust how you spend your money during the month so that...
4. At the end of the month, you will not have overspent.

While there is value in an open loop budget, there is much higher value in a closed loop budget. Therefore, find a system that curbs your spending in categories if you start to overspend. There are two primary ways to do this.
Cash EnvelopesAt the beginning of the pay period, place a certain amount of cash in an envelope for a particular category such as groceries, eating out, or entertainment. Do this for categories that can be paid with cash and are hard to control. When the envelope is empty, you are done until payday. Research and experience confirm that people spend less when using cash than credit or debit cards. With cash, you feel the emotional loss of your money.
TechnologyAlternatively, you can use a system such as Mvelopes or spreadsheets to track your spending in each category. The trick is to keep the system up to date and continually refer to it before spending. When you want to spend, check your system to see if you have enough money in that fund. If you don't have enough, don't buy it.

You can also combine these systems and track some categories in cash and some using technology.

When and if you marry, decide to live on 80% of a single paycheck. This will give your family the freedom to have one parent work, and one take care of the children. Take the second paycheck and invest it and buy foundational items. These items might include a house downpayment, quality furniture that will last a lifetime, and anything else with a very long life.

Finally never forget the opportunity cost of money. In every transaction, there are TWO items.

• The item you are buying
• The item you can no longer buy because of it.

Always be aware of both items, and intentionally decide it is worth the trade.

Ignore the pressure from the world to spend more than you make to get it all NOW; instead, live within your means. Be patient with your financial plan, and build slowly. You will be happy you did.

Coming out of the closet... My addiction to plastic ware.

For the last 3 years or so, my family has thought I am crazy. I readily admit to not being normal, but I take some issue with being regarded crazy. The thing is, I can’t throw away plastic ware. Whenever we go to a restaurant, I clean my knife, fork, and spoon and shove them into my big pants pocket. At home I stick them in the dishwasher and the next day, they are ready to reuse. We have not needed to buy plastic ware for a LONG time.

I just can’t condone the idea, so prevalent in our western culture, of using things one time and then throwing them away.

Recycling seems to fix this nicely. We can toss our waste into a black hole and trust the waste management gods to turn it into something useful for us. But…

There are two problems with this plan. The worldwide market for recyclables is currently collapsing because China is buying less AND raising the quality level for what it buys. Secondly, it takes a lot of energy and water to recycle.

Without a market for recyclables, they are merely routed to the landfill like everything else. And with China’s desire for higher quality raw recyclables, our single stream recycling method may be found deficient.

It takes tremendous energy and water resources to recycle an item. The items must be picked up, sorted, cleaned, and repackaged needing trucks, people, and machines. The recyclables must then be sold, and since China is the biggest buyer of recycled material, much has to be shipped halfway around the world. Then a factory turns the reprocessed raw material into products which are sent halfway around the world to the final user.

Consider the good old glass Ball canning jar. After using it, we wash it and, bada bing bada boom, it’s ready to be reused. There are some energy and water consumed, but it is far less than what would be required to turn a single-use plastic container back into a useful product.

Should we all stop recycling?

No, recycling is very good. But I recommend we change our minds about it.

Everyone has heard the proverb. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. What I recommend is that we rethink about this by adding priorities.

The pyramid illustrates that the best choice is to reduce packaging and waste by not creating it in the first place. There is no energy or water required to reprocess nothing. And nothing has never taken up space in a landfill. If packaging and waste cannot be avoided, then reuse is the next best alternative. It saves energy and water while allowing the item to be used. When reuse, is not possible, then recycling is the next best option, because it preserves our limited material resources and manages our landfills better. But make it your highest goal not to create waste in the first place, and your next to reuse as much as possible.

Narnia on Business

Recently I rediscovered some old classics, favorites from when I was a much younger fellow (of 40 or so). I listened to the entire series of Narnia novels by CS Lewis. I shall never become too old to enjoy a fantasy trip into those magical lands. I asked the question, what can businesses learn from Narnia?

In the book Prince Caspian, Lucy asks Aslan, the King of Narnia what would have happened had she done what he had asked of her. He replied that "No one ever gets to know what would have happened." We only get to see what will happen. It’s a great reminder because we make mistakes in business at all levels. If we dwell on the error and ponder what would have happened, we are merely wasting our energy that could be put toward courage and a solution, what will happen.

In the books, The Magicians Nephew and Prince Caspian, the King to be were asked one final question before Aslan would confirm him as king. Do you feel ready and capable of leading these people and animals? In both cases, the response was a quick, “No.” And that was precisely the answer Aslan wanted. He knew that a leader that thinks they know everything will fail in a pride enabled catastrophe. It is far better to recognize our inadequacy and lead courageously from a humble perspective.

In the book, The Last Battle, one of the saddest parts of the story is when it becomes clear that Susan, one of the most beloved queens, is no longer a friend of Narnia. According to Lucy, Susan lost the reality of Narnia through trying to grow up too fast. Truths we think incorruptible are too easily masked by convenient or pressing untruth. In IR.Tools case, the core values represent the Truth for us. We can not be like Susan, discarding truth, when back orders, financial pressures, and firefighting entice us to walk away.

Finally, we hear in nearly every book that Aslan, the anthropomorphic Jesus, is good, but he is not tame. This proverb is clearly relevant to our human, and business, condition. We expect an easy road when striving to do what’s right, when honoring God. However, losses come, challenges knock us down, and pain is there to greet us. We persevere when the help God gives is providing challenges.

So listen to the wise beasts of Narnia.

• Don’t worry about the past. Invest in now and the future.
• Don’t let pride disqualify you for the excellent work you have to do.
• Don’t let the truth be swallowed up in busyness and lies.
• Realize that Aslan is not a tame lion.

Buy Assets (Money Issues #1)

Dear Abigail, Lydia, and Chelsea.

According to Robert Kiyosaki, the primary differentiator between the rich and the poor is the difference between investing money and spending money.

When we first started IR.Tools, it was a money pit. We poured our life savings into it hoping it would pay off eventually. Around years 3-6, it paid off well. I remember one deal that alone netted us $100,000. Rather than increasing our standard of living, we began saving for college, buying real estate, and giving with our surplus funds. We ended up with eight rental houses in the great city of Memphis, TN. Also, note that these assets were of a different type than our business providing diversification as well. After a while competition, hiring employees, and other forces started taking their toll, and we stopped making as much money. In fact, we have lost money many months recently. As the cash decreased, the assets we bought with our previous surplus allowed us to continue our standard of living. Without those assets, you girls would not have been able to maintain your high level of involvement in sports.

Had we bought a boat, or more substantial house, or went on dream vacations, we would never have had the assets available to help us. However, this is what many people do with their bonuses, pay raises, tax refunds and other windfalls. They increase their standard of living one dollar for ever dollar they get. Don’t.

Here is a better way. In your careers and your families, you need to spend 80% of what you make. Give 10% to the church.  You should save at least 10% of what you make. This 10% will fund your:
* Emergency fund
* Retirement savings
* Savings to buy assets
When you get a bonus or other windfall, purchase assets with at least 50% of it. It would be even better to invest all of it. When you get a pay raise, allocate at least 50% toward savings and investing. Commit to using 50% or less to raise your standard of living.

Assets can pay out for years. Some will outlive you, providing income for a future generation. You will always do better in the long run buying assets instead of spending now.

Here are possible assets you could consider:
* Index mutual funds
* Investment real estate
* Start a small business
* Special equipment for a company
* Land

Your home is a unique asset because it is also an expense. Buying another asset will usually produce a better return. However, improving (not repairing) will have a better return than spending money on your lifestyle and may provide some convenience or benefit you appreciate at the same time.

Commit to living below your means and buy assets with your surplus and you will see your financial strength improve.

Seeking Comfort and Convenience (Character Issues 3)

We become unwise when comfort and convenience are our primary guides.

I like being comfortable, and I appreciate convenience, but our drive for comfort and convenience is devastating the fabric of our culture and the environment around us, and we are oblivious to its work.

We fight the ills of society one by one. We try to save babies from abortion. We try to keep useful resources from the landfill. We try to save energy, so we have enough to go around. We try to urge our government to balance its budget. These are all noble endeavors and good to do, but none of these issues is the fundamental problem. Instead, these are all symptoms of our insatiable desire for comfort and convenience.

Our desire for comfort and convenience drives us to ignore the future and make short-term decisions that have long-term consequences. Aborting babies is convenient, but it can leave emotional scars. It is convenient to have disposable plates, forks, containers, towels, but we have finite God-given resources in the Earth, and someday resources will run out whether it is for our children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren. The energy we gorge on provides terrific comfort and conveniences that we love, but we also must admit that we in the world are consuming energy unsustainably fast, and in the west, we consume more than our share. Our fiscal policy in America is IMHO a train wreck. We as a country are so addicted to comfort and convenience that we willing to saddle our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren with enormous debt rather than live within our means.

Why must everything be so convenient and comfortable? How did we as a society get addicted to it? We are laser focused on the almighty Me. We are addicted to production to create more value in the world to enrich ourselves. But those riches do not produce the happiness we expect, because real joy is not a function of riches. Secondly, we are addicted to leisure. As a society, we are flat out lazy. But we were made to work. God, who created us, is a creative being who makes beauty out of nothing. He wants us to do the same through work. The work God planned for us is invigorating and life-giving. It strengthens us as it tests and stretches us.

So how do we get out of this spiral of comfort and convenience addiction?

Our first step is to begin moving our motivation from comfort and convenience to sustainability and stewardship (being a good manager of the gifts we have been given). We need to find ways to live, which reflects God’s design for work, and are sustainable for the next 100 years and beyond. We need to recognize that we are the stewards of this third rock from the Sun. We are so used to comfort and convenience in the West, we can’t even recognize them any more and take all things for granted. Occasionally, intentionally do something the inconvenient old fashioned way. We must think beyond our noses, and consider the long-term results of everything we do, and when we lose the focus on comfort and convenience, we will find joy we did not expect and satisfaction that once alluded us. 

Confirmation Bias (Character Issues #2)

Confirmation Bias

Character Issues Blog #2

One of the fascinating things about humanity is our tendency toward confirmation bias. According to the all-knowing one, Siri, confirmation bias is the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories. It is that tendency (even if unintentional) to hear five facts and only listen to the two facts that support our position. It relates to our tendency to make a decision based on our emotions and then find facts that show the decision was good. In the spiritual world, it is the tendency to believe a particular theology and then go to the Bible to find support for our belief.

An example from politics is from the Obamacare debates. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said of the Affordable Care Act, in 2010: But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.” Taken out of context, this was fodder for the Republicans showing the incompetence of the Democrats. However, when reading the entire context of the speech, you realize that the sound bite taken by itself did not represent what Pelosi intended.

An example from Christianity is the Westboro Baptist Church. This church which protests in hostile and painful ways would be considered extremist by the vast majority of Christians, can easily support its theology using the Bible. They look for what they want to see.

We see the same in the debate over homosexuality in the Christian church. Those on all sides of the issue support their position from the Bible. How can one book tell multiple stories? It is because we all find what supports our beliefs, and ignore what challenges them.

Does anyone remember the DC Sniper? Someone how it got reported that the getaway vehicle was a white van. As soon as that was released, we saw white vans everywhere.

We see confirmation bias throughout race relations. We think that “white people are this” or “black people are that” or “Asians are so and so.” Then we look around and are biased toward evidence that proves us right while ignoring everything that challenges our stereotype, and then feel justified in our belief.

There is a beautiful part of the scientific method explicitly designed to combat this confirmation bias in humans, and it is useful in every part of our lives. Once you have a theory about something, it is your job as a scientist to do everything in your power to DISPROVE it. If you seek evidence to prove your theory, you will find it. Instead, do everything you can to DISPROVE your theory, and if after exhausting all efforts to prove yourself wrong, then humbly suggest you may be right.

But what’s the point? Good science and sound logic and right human relations require us to recognize confirmation bias in ourselves and make better judgments. To do so, we must be vigilantly intentional about looking for confirmation bias in ourselves and choosing to accept all data and not just that which supports our belief. We must listen to the people we [currently?] disagree with, the people outside our tribe, to get all the facts. In politics, we can hear the person on the other side of the aisle. In Christianity, it’s good to listen to all opinions inside the church, and even outside, as we seek Jesus’ truth. In our families, we can get the whole picture before jumping to conclusions. In the significant issues of our day like race relations, gun control, global warming, and immigration we can listen to information from all sides before making judgments on what is right. The list goes on and on.

Begin to see confirmation bias in ourselves and begin to make better judgments by intentionally considering all the evidence, not just what supports our initial belief.

Another Pilgrim's Progress

When Christians go to church, we are often “Fine” and “To blessed to be depressed.” But if most are anything like me, underneath those platitudes are hidden real faith journeys that are messy and scary at times. My faith journey has been much more of an adventure than I expected or even let on.

No Faith Years (0-11)

From birth to 11, my family was religious but not genuinely Christian. We went to church regularly, but it was not out of sincere devotion. It was more out of habit, responsibility, and desire for community.

Parent’s Faith Years (11-13)

Around 11 my parents dedicated their lives to Jesus and told the rest of our family about Jesus, and we jumped on that ship. For the next few years, I followed Jesus as an extension of my parent’s faith. We became active in a church that was very focused on Jesus and tried to follow Him according to the Bible. It was enough that my parents told me what to believe.

My Youth Group Faith Years (14-17)

Then somewhere around 13 or 14, there was an unimpressive yet significant turning point in my life. I read the Bible that day and realized that what the preachers and teachers said at church was actually in the Bible. That simple connecting of the dots helped me turn a corner and make faith my own rather than my parent’s. I believed there was something in following Jesus that was true and advantageous to me individually. Our church had a fantastic youth group (another story) and surrounded by other Christian youth, my faith grew. Positive peer pressure was positively helpful to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Sincere, Naive Faith (18-40)

However, youth group faith is a distinct time that changes after high school graduation. It’s not that youth group faith is less in any way, it’s just not always challenged and purified through testing. In my case, I did not leave the faith even temporarily after high school, as many do. However, my faith did change as I became an adult. During this time I was whole hog for following Jesus and serving him in my church. I was a loyal soldier and did not ask hard questions. I taught classes, led small groups, went on mission trips, was a church board member and even married a girl I met at church. I was something of a poster child, er poster adult for the Christian church.

Questioning Faith (40+)

We have a family favorite vacation destination called Sandy Cove. It is an excellent place to go for summer family camp. One year there was a man named Richard Dahlstrom speaking. I loved his insight, and wanted to read his book, O2: Breathing New Life into Faith. The book was great, and there was one story that I will never forget. Richard had gone to Germany to preach and help. They did church work all day, and he was very encouraged by this. But then night came, and even the sweet, older ladies began throwing down beers. This revelation greatly shocked Richard’s American Church Theology. But after soul searching, he decided that other people could be Christian and drink beer, an idea that was strange to me. I lived the story vicariously through Richard. It was the first time I had ever considered that something part of my local church, or the American Church, could be cultural and not part of universal Christian Truth. That idea really surprised me, and it released me, for good or ill, to explore many aspects of Christianity. I began to ask questions I would never ask before, and I read books from Christian dissidents that love the Church, but have ideas about things we can do better.

This freedom compelled me to ask: What in my beliefs were cultural and not universal for all Christians? Was there anything I believed that could be wrong? Why and what do other Christians think differently than me? Is the church doing anything dumb? Why do Christians seem to have a bad rap?

All of this shook my faith. Things that I always accepted out of hand, I questioned. I walked a scary road. I was afraid to keep pulling on these strings, fearful of what I would find, and afraid not authentically to pull strings. I feared to lose the comfortable community I loved.

Part of the problem was that I did not recognize the difference between personal and cultural Christian preferences and the fundamental truths in scripture. So when I began to question these preferences, which is okay, I thought I was questioning the fundamental truths of Christianity. I found that I had to intentionally separate the fundamental Christian truths and the cultural preferences .

In the end, I did lose quite a bit of my American faith, letting go of or holding loosely to Christian cultural, preferential, and peripheral issues. What remained was refined and pure. It was brick-like so that while my faith included less and was more skeptical, it was indeed better. In the end, I held onto two foundations of faith. God created the world, and Jesus came to the world to save it. These two beliefs sustain me, and everything else in my faith rests on them.

My faith journey was scary at times, but I believe God was there. I think I was more scared of hard questions than He was. I feel like God has allowed some things in my theology to burn up so I could understand what genuinely foundational Truth is. I pray that your faith journey will bring you to a place of deep trust in Jesus. 

Pacifist or Protector

I am standing in between two powerful ideas. Pacifism has hold of my left hand and responsibility has hold of my right. Each is pulling me desperately toward its ideal while I am desperately trying to stay my ground in the balance. But, the balance is so hard to define, I feel I am standing firm in quicksand.

My pacifism is deeply rooted in the teachings of Jesus. Famously He said, "But here is what I tell you. Do not fight against an evil person. Suppose someone hits you on your right cheek. Turn your other cheek to him also.” https://www.bible.com/bible/110/MAT.5.39.NIRV. 

Furthermore, the apostle Paul said,

"17 Don't pay back evil with evil. Be careful to do what everyone thinks is right. 18If possible, live in peace with everyone. Do that as much as you can.

19My friends, don't try to get even. Leave room for God to show his anger. It is written, "I am the One who judges people. I will pay them back," (Deuteronomy 32:35) says the Lord. 20Do just the opposite. Scripture says, "If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat.

If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.

By doing those things, you will pile up burning coals on their heads." (Proverbs 25:21,22)

21 Don't let evil overcome you. Overcome evil by doing good.

Having absorbed these teachings thoroughly, I don’t want to get revenge or pay back evil with evil, but instead be charitable to those that hate me.

On the other have, I am naturally a very responsible person. I feel entirely responsible for the protection of my family and even other innocents. I would forever live mired in regret if someone in my family or even an innocent stranger died, and I had failed to do what was within my power to help.

The Bible is not silent on responsibility for others. In Proverbs it says:

Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. https://www.bible.com/bible/111/PRO.24.11.NIV

So am I a pacifist or a protector? Or somehow both?

These questions have captured my mind because my heart has been wrenched by the senseless shootings that seem to occur on a regular basis these days. Like many, I was impressed by the man in Texas that likely saved many lives by engaging the killer at the San Antonio church. He was trained and ready when he was needed.

The follow-on question is then, “Should I seek to become an armed citizen?"

Is that the appropriate next step for a responsible protector? For a pacifist? I would have to be well trained so that I would be safe and wise and useful. It would require an investment of time and money to become proficient. Most likely I would never need the skills. But if I needed them and did not have them…

Let’s dig into that a little too. Is this all about my happiness (I would be sad if I could not help) or about what is the right thing to do, what God would want for me? Of course, I am admittedly self-centered, but I think this question is more than my peace in a troubled world.

And shouldn’t I just be trusting Jesus anyways? Is this a form of taking control of something I should leave up to Him? This is a great question, but I think the answer is, “No.” I think it was God’s perfect will for the people in the San Antonio church to all be alive today, although He permitted the gunman to kill people there. If a policeman had been at the church and shot the man dead first, I don’t think anyone would be concerned that they were alive against the will of God.

So I remain seeking answers to these two mind-numbing questions:

Am I a pacifist or a protector?

Should I seek to become an armed citizen?

Christian and Engineer, How can that Be?

Scientist. Christian. Science. Theology. Fact. Faith. Tactile. Spiritual. Questioning. Accepting. Concrete. Fuzzy.

and

Creator. Creator. Designer. Designer. Thinker. Thinker.

There are some very fundamental differences between the scientific/engineering mind and Christianity. Yet there are some critical synergies as well.

I am an engineer through and through. If I took 100 placement tests, every one would scream at me to go into engineering. Have you read the Dilbert cartoons? I am there. Have you seen a movie about NASA? I am one of those people. Yet, I am Christian through and through. I believe God exists, and He created everything around us. I think that some how God guides me and helps me. And I recognize that I am something of an oxymoron. 

To some extent the Christian Scientist is a homeless person. My Christian tribe doesn’t connect with the whole logic tests, and fact finding, and questioning that I bring to my faith. And my Scientific community doesn’t connect with the whole faith thing. Sometimes fellow Christians are bubbly about something "God did", and rather than rejoice, I question. Sometimes, my scientific  community rejoices over a new discovery, and rather than rejoice, I think that maybe the natural, old fashioned way is better.

But I have developed some coping skills for living in this strange no man’s land.

1) It’s okay to not be mystical/emotional

I have often felt less of a Christian because I did not “feel the Spirit in this place” the way, apparently, every other person in the church does. I have often felt less of a Christian because I do not have God “speaking to me” on a regular basis. At times I was jealous of others because I wanted that confidence they seemed to have. But now I allow God to interact with me in a way that is appropriate for how He made me. I can rejoice for friends with very mystical, emotional relationships with God, without being jealous. My relationship with God is much more concrete. It centers around the scriptures and concrete prayer.

2) Focus on Creation.

As scientists, and especially as engineers, we are driven by creativity. We build the new things that make the world turn. God too is a creator and it is one of the most powerful ways for a scientist to connect to God. I see amazing parallels between the design process I use and what God used. For me the second law of Thermodynamics and the concept of irreducible complexities center my beliefs in this area. 

The second law states that any closed system must move toward chaos. This rules out a universe of infinite age since the world is not purely chaotic.  Therefore, there had to be a time of creation where order was brought from disorder. This creative act must have be done by The Creator. 

An irreducible complexity is a system that can not be broken down into smaller parts and still function. I think a one cell organism is a great example of this. You can’t break it down any more. It is as simple as it gets. Therefore, the initial creative step would have to be from disorder to a fully functioning cell; intermediate steps are not possible. To me the only plausible explanation for such a phenomenon is a creator God. 

3) Connect through the Facts and Logic

Apologetics is a useful area of study. Many people such as Louis Pasteur, Josh McDowell, and Lee Strobel have spent years exploring the facts about God. We are not the first ones asking questions. Read their research and be encouraged. Allow yourself to ask hard questions. If this is Truth, it will stand up to  criticism. You will end up throwing away some Christian trinkets, but the faith that remains will be much stronger. 

4) Focus on a Few Irrefutable God Sightings

There are only a few interactions I have had with God that I am completely confident were Him. I am sure He has helped me many other times, but there are some doubts or questions. It is better for me to strengthen my faith with a focus on those few times where I know God helped me, and not worry that I don’t have a bountiful list like others.

Living in the no man’s land between science and faith is a lonely scary, place at times. But it can be a good place when we allow God to have a meaningful relationship with us that is appropriate for how we are created.